It Wasn't Supposed To Be This Way
by sarahw119
Summary: AU In which Spencer is living in New York with Aaron's baby brother, but what happens when Aaron and Spencer decide they can't stay away from each other? please review good or bad.


**This is based on an rp that me and a very good friend of mine did so I can't take all the credit for writing this one.** **Half the credit goes to my wonderful friend GNGRLVR1! Please review!**

**It wasn't supposed to be this way.**

The Funerals of Spencer Reid and Sean Hotchner took place on the 17th October 2006 and it seemed as if the gods were in mourning too, if the rain that day was anything to go by. Sean's funeral was empty save one person, his mother; Spencer's however was vastly different.

The small group of agents stood by the graveside of their friend and co-worker trying to comfort themselves and each other. They had all agreed on one thing shortly after the news had broken; none of them would mention Sean's name. His funeral was taking place in New York and as such they were all surprised to see Aaron here at Spencer's funeral rather than that of his own brother, surprised but grateful. By coming to spencer's funeral Aaron had showed them who he was with on this. When Aaron had called Derek who had then cascaded the news down to the rest of them, they had been, well they had all been stunned. Not one of them had ever thought Sean Hotchner capable of such an evil deed. It had left them all reeling and angry, angry that he had done this to their friend, angry that he had taken the cowards way out and angry that he had left his brother to clean up his mess, again.

**New York October 12****th**** 2006**

He lay there in the arms of his lover who was snoring lightly beside him, he wanted more than a roll in the hay once a month when they could both come up with reasonable excuses to spend the night away from Sean and Haley. Spencer wanted this to be more than some sordid affair, he loved Aaron and he knew Aaron loved him, knew he wanted to leave Haley. Spencer kept saying no though, he wouldn't be responsible for tearing a family apart, and he wouldn't be responsible for a father leaving his son. They both knew that Haley would stop him seeing Jack once the truth came out and for the life of him he couldn't think of a way out of this situation that wouldn't end up hurting Sean.

Logically he knew that what he was doing already was hurting Sean but on the days that he and Aaron managed to sneak away he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, he didn't want anything distracting him from his short time with Aaron. Sighing Spencer extracted himself from Aaron's arms and got out of bed, going over to the window and looking down at the street below. They couldn't go on like this, he knew that, he knew he had to make a choice and it broke his heart.

Sean came home from the restaurant early. Things had been slow today so Joey had let him knock off half way through his shift. He knew Spencer wouldn't be home yet, he never was the day after his 'monthly trip' he had once told Sean that once a month he went up to Vegas to see his mom. Sean however (Thanks to a call he had answered from the doctor's from Bennington's psychiatric facility) knew that this was a lie. He had never told Spencer about the call, he knew if he did their relationship was over and he wasn't ready for that. The evidence had been staring him and Haley in the face for months; they were both sticking their head's in the sand hoping it would go away.

Sean walked in to the empty apartment had a shower and got changed into some sweats before going to the kitchen to start dinner. As he did he passed the phone on the coffee table in the living room and saw the answering machine flash, thinking it was Spencer he hit play. The voice on the machine wasn't one he recognised.

"Do you know where your boyfriend is? Who he's with right now? Because I do" the message ended and Sean noticed a brown envelope sitting on the mat that hadn't been there before he went for his shower. He picked it up and ripped the envelope open pulling out its contents. His heart stopped as he looked at what the envelope contained photographs; six to be exact. Each photo dated for the past six months, one for each month and each photo showing Spencer in some seedy cheap hotel room kissing his brother. Sean couldn't believe what he was seeing, there was no more denying what had been staring him the face for months as everything clicked into place, the way Spencer had been so distant with him for days after his trips, how whenever his phone went he would light up before leaving the room before answering it and finally how a case would always bring Aaron to town whenever Spencer had a trip out of town planned. He couldn't ignore it any longer; Spencer was cheating on him and with his own brother.

Sean had never felt so angry, so hurt. Aaron knew how he felt about Spencer. Christ he'd been the one to suggest Sean ask him out! How could they do this to him? Did they really hate him that much? Sean could feel his temper rising and knew he had to at least try to calm down so that he could think; he couldn't do that while images of beating Aaron senseless filled his brain. He went into the kitchen and got what he needed out of the fridge, cooking always helped him calm down, helped him to think.

Aaron woke to find a cold empty space next to him where Spencer should have been; rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he sat up in the bed and looked around the cheap hotel room. He saw Spencer stood by the window looking out on the street below, his face haunted. Pulling the covers around him, Aaron got out of bed and went over to Spencer, wrapping his arms around the smaller frame of his lover pulling him close enough that he could rest his chin on Spencer's shoulder.

"Want to tell me what's going on in that big brain of yours baby?" Aaron asked worriedly. Spencer would usually get withdrawn at the ends of his visits but never this much.

Spencer sighed before answering, he had made his choice as he watched Aaron sleep, and he knew it was best, the only fair thing for everyone, but it still hurt.

"We can't keep doing this Aaron" Aaron looked at him worriedly.

"Doing what spencer?"

"This! All the lying, all the sneaking around. Sean is your brother Aaron; don't you feel the slightest bit guilty for what we're putting him through? Putting Haley through?"

"Of course I feel guilty but you're the one who wanted things this way. I told you from the beginning, I love you and if this is the only way we can be together then I'll deal with the guilt and the pain. Because for a short period of time I get to be me, I get to be with the person I love most in the world"

"I…I'm going to tell him" Spencer turned in his lovers arms, resting his hand on his cheek.

"I can't do this anymore, I'm miserable when we're apart Aaron. I miss you so much. Once a month just isn't enough anymore. I'm going to tell him I'm leaving, tonight." Spencer took a deep breath and looked at Aaron; he wasn't sure what he expected to see but a smile wasn't it.

"I know it's painful Spencer, but it's the right thing to do, for all of us. I hate what we're doing to Sean, to Haley, but I can't stay away from you. It's like I can't breathe when we're apart. I know Sean is going to be heartbroken and I am sorry for that, but he will find someone that makes him happy, someone who loves him the way he deserves. As for Haley? Well she's only interested in keeping up appearances; our marriage was over long ago." He leant in and kissed Spencer gently.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Spencer shook his head.

"No, Sean is going to be hurt enough as it is, without you there rubbing his face in it by being there. I'm just going to tell him and pick up a few things; I can get the rest of my stuff tomorrow whilst he's in work. I never wanted it to come to this; I never wanted to hurt anyone."

"I know baby, I know." Aaron hugged Spencer to him, trying to ease some of the pain the man he loved was feeling let him be the one to feel guilty, he had broad shoulders, and he could take it. He felt Spencer pull away and let him, Spencer couldn't wait any longer, and he needed to do this now. Aaron knew this as he watched the young man dress, kissing him quickly before leaving their hotel room with the promise that he'd be back in an hour or so.

Sean was in the kitchen cutting vegetables when he heard the door open and Spencer walk in calling for him. He didn't bother answering their apartment wasn't that big, Spencer would find him eventually. Sure enough Spencer walked into the kitchen a few seconds later looking exceptionally nervous. Good Sean thought, as he savagely chopped his carrots he tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke.

"Hey babe, how was your mom? Did you have a good time? Spencer almost feinted right there.

"Y…Yeah, Sean we need to talk."

"I'm busy right now Spencer" Spencer sighed.

"Sean please, this is important."

"Oh believe me I know, but I'm not interested in hearing your pathetic excuses anymore, I've heard enough of them this past year already." Slamming his hand down on the counter, Spencer jumped in fright.

"Sean, what are you talking about?" Sean turned to him his face a picture of pure animalistic rage.

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME SPENCER!" Spencer back up a few steps, his voice a few octaves higher than usual reminding him of the time he and Morgan got stuck in the lift.

"Sean, please calm down?"

"Calm down? You spend the night in some cheap hotel room FUCKING my BROTHER and you want me to calm down?" Sean spat the words out at him.

"I wasn't, I didn't I swear!" Spencer cried.

"You're a fucking liar Spencer! I –know- you were there! Someone was kind enough to send me the pictures!" Sean was so angry he had forgotten that he still had the knife in his hand as he stepped closer to Spencer gesturing towards the coffee table where the discarded pictures lay. Spencer backed further away from Sean as he saw the knife in his hand.

"I was there, I was. But nothing happened, I swear! Sean please calm down!"

"You think I believe a word you say? You've been lying to me for a fucking year!" he yelled as he punched the wall next to Spencer's head causing him to scream.

"Sean please! I never meant to hurt you" Spencer told him as tears streamed down his face.

"You've been fucking my brother behind my back for a year! What did you think was going to happen? Did you think I'd be happy? That I'd be okay with that? So you could what? Talk me into some perverted threesome?" Sean was gesturing wildly the knife barely missing spencer. Spencer jerked back out of the way, he knew he was in trouble, he knew he needed to get out of there now! His eyes flickered over to the door on the other side of the room and knew he would never make it on time.

"I'm so sorry Sean, I never meant for any of this to happen, I never meant to sleep with him."

"So for reason's only known to god, the two of you just happened to be naked and you what? Just happened to trip and land on his waiting cock?" Sean was full out yelling now, fuck the neighbours he didn't care.

"No! I don't remember how it started" Spencer sobbed; when Sean spoke next his voice was dangerously low.

"You remember! You used me Spencer, treated me like some second rate version of him!" Sean was gesturing widely again, forgetting the knife in his hand he stabbed his finger at Spencer's chest. When saw how Spencer's eyes widened and heard him gasp he tore his eyes away to see six inches of steel disappear into his boyfriend's chest.

"Oh god, Oh god Spencer! Spencer I'm so sorry!" Sean watched as pain and sorrow washed over spencer's perfect features as a dark red stain grew around the knife still protruding from Spencer's chest. Going against everything he knew Sean pulled the knife out and frantically tried to stop the blood that was now pouring from the wound.

"Baby no! Please! I'm sorry… You can't die! Oh god, what did I do?" He sobbed uselessly as Spencer slid down the wall slowly to the floor.

"S….Sean…..a…..ambulance…..please?" Sean pulled his phone from his pocket and tried to dial 911 with shaking hands.

"Don't leave me Spencer, please baby! I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, it wasn't meant to be this way." Spencer was starting to feel very cold, his vision started to fade; he knew the end was near.

"S…Sorry…" Sean gathered the man he loved, the man he had killed in his arms.

"No! Baby stay with me! I love you so much, I won't survive without you" Spencer tried his best to focus but he was fading fast.

"B….Better….this way…..can't…..can't hurt you…." Tears streamed down Sean's face.

"H….How am I meant to live in a world w….without you in it?"

"I…I'm sorry…" with one last breathe Spencer's eyes slide closed and his body went limp in Sean's arms.

"No! Come back! Baby please come back! Don't leave me!" his pleas were met by a deathly silence. He laid Spencer's body down on the floor and sobbed against his chest, not caring about the blood.

"I…I can't live without you baby, I w…won't" with that Sean placed a gently kiss to Spencer's forehead stood up and went into their bedroom, he pulled Spencer's gun from the closet, pressed the barrel to his temple cocked it and pulled the trigger. The last thought that went through his mind before his brains splattered all over the walls of the room he had shared with Spencer for a year, was that at least wherever they were now Aaron would never be able to take Spencer away from him.

Aaron was the person to find the bodies. Aaron was the person arrested for murder when the cops found him stood over his brother's body. Aaron was the one questioned for hours on end. Aaron was the one to discover that the private dectective who had taken the photo's that had sent Sean over the edge had been hired by his soon to be ex wife Haley and Aaron was the one who had to clean up the mess…..Again.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.


End file.
